So, it's Valentine's Day...
And at 24, I’ve come to terms with this holiday.
In my younger, more angstier days, Valentine’s Day was nothing more than a day of awareness. It made me terribly aware of how low I sat on the totem pole of suitorship and popularity. I was well-known and well-liked, but NOT enough to swim in a sea of roses on Valentine’s Day.
It was always depressing to watch my classmates (middle-high school) receive goodies from their groups of friends and admirers. It was also pretty sickening. Don’t get me wrong, I had friends and I had my share of sweethearts but when you’re trying to secure your worthiness during the adolescent years, you always want more, more, more! And when you are insecure with yourself (as most of us are at that age), days like Valentine’s Day just brutally suck.
Luckily, my best friends were always thinking up crafty ways to make horrible consumer holidays unique and exciting. We spoiled each other with treats throughout the years. We left messages of affection (for example: “You’re the coolest!”, “You ROCK my SOX”, “BFFs-4Ever!”) in balloons, lockers and where ever else we deemed appropriate.
And then, there is my mother. I remember one Valentine’s Day I came home nearly empty-handed in ruins over not being inundated with gifts. My best friend had given me a little beanie bear (that smelled like chocolate…hmm, I wonder if she re-gifted that to me?? *shrug*) but I wanted more. I barely spoke to my mom when I came in the house.
“Hi, Mommy!” my mother called from her bedroom.
“Hi…” I half-heartedly replied and ran to my room, throwing myself in a 1900s-fashion across the bed sobbing. Why didn’t anyone like me enough to make a fuss over me?
Imagine my surprise when I turned over to see an oversized teddybear and flowers on my dresser. The bear was stuffed with treats and the flowers were from my dad. It broke my heart to realize how blind I’d been to the love of those who not only matter most—but who love me unconditionally, 365 days a year.
My mom had always been my Valentine. Even when I was away at college she and my dad would send me cards telling me how much they loved me and frequently sent candy and care-packages. My roommates constantly made fun of me when I received something new and I was okay with that.
Throughout the years, my roomies and I placed more emphasis on being each others Valentine’s because we had a camaraderie that was unmatched. We saw each other through the best, the worst and the most trying of times. I began to value this more than the affection of whomever I was dating at the time. It was constant, never-ending and requited.
So, is it nice to have love on Valentine’s Day? Yes. Is it the end of the world if you don’t? No. You have to look at all the different ways you receive love daily. Everyone loves you in a different way and for different reasons—but mostly for being the you, you are today. After you graduate from high school and get through your first two years of college, no one cares how popular you are or how many flowers you get during Valentine’s Day. What matters most is that you continue to give love each and every day that you live.
The greatest love of all is knowing that you are, in fact, loved by someone and not needing material things to prove it. Although, let’s be honest, it is nice to receive a gift every now and again. I’m just sayin’….
Let a little love into your lives,
—LadyOshKosh
